Here's The Thing About Contentment | 3 Strategies to Help You Cultivate Gratitude

"I wish I could have visited home longer."

"I wish I was married already."

"I can't wait to have a house of my own."

"If only I had my own apartment..."

As I was driving back to Emporia one weekend, all of these thoughts came into my mind within a 10 minute span. They've been consistent thoughts for months, and as I looked out at the sunset, God really put on my heart that I need to settle where I'm at and work on contentment.

There's always something I wish I had, a stage of life I wish I was in. The season I'm in is never fully enough, but God convicted me that it never will be. Being married won't make life easier. Having a house or an apartment won't make life easier. There will always be trials, difficult situations, and heavy emotions that I have to work through no matter what season of life I'm in, and so it's my responsibility to be present and make the most of where I'm at.

Contentment isn't about finally reaching the "perfect phase of life" because that doesn't exist. Contentment is about finding your satisfaction in the Lord alone, not your circumstances, and being grateful for everything the Lord has given you in this season - not constantly striving ahead and looking to the next one. Because God has us here, right now, for a purpose, and I don't want to miss out on being part of what He's doing because I'm so caught up in what I wish I was doing.

When comparision is the default, contentment is forgotten, and I find myself guilty of this often. I look around and see people in the season I wish I was in, or my Pinterest boards of my dream life, or social media where everyone has it together, and I'm suddenly feeling like I'm lacking. Like I need to catch up, hurry, because if I have this or accomplish that, I'll be set. Then I'll be happy/content/grateful. I've even found myself bargaining with God: "If you just give me [blank], then I'll be happy, and I won't ask for anything else! Promise!"

Guess what? After a few weeks, a new request comes up that will finally be everything I need. It's a never ending cycle, because no circumstance or material thing will ever be everything I need. It will never be fully satisfying, because that role is for God and God alone. Only God will be enough, but as long as we keep trying to fill the holes in our life with things of this world, then we'll come up empty and lacking contentment.

We don't have to stay in this pattern, though. God's been challenging me, and there are a few things I'd like to encourage you to try as well. To replace the pattern of always longing for more, we have to create new patterns and new habits that instead focus our mind on the Lord and gratefulness - and there are some really tangible ways to go about that.

1. Write out gratitude lists. I try to do this every night, and I love it! At first, my goal was to write 8 things each day I was grateful for, and then 10, and now I can write so much that I don't even count! It's such an easy, easy way to remember the little blessings that the Lord has given you, and it always leaves me feeling content before I go to bed. I'm reminded that God is so good, and He has given me so many precious gifts throughout the day (like good meals, warm weather, time with friends, a car, roof over my head, etc), and those are the things I need to focus on.

2. Be still. I'm convinced that half the reason I struggle with contentment is that my mind runs so fast, I don't have any space to counteract my rushing, ungrateful thoughts with contentment. I'm so busy that they come and go, creating unwanted patterns in my brain. But I'm finding that when I take even five minutes to slow down, be quiet with my Abba, and focus on Him, my mind clears out and I'm much more grounded, happy to be right where I am. It resets me to place my heart and mind on things above, instead of worldly things.

3. Turn of social media. If constantly watching other people's lives is a source of temptation for you to be discontent, then turn it off! I find that I'm much happier with my life when there's no one for me to compare it to. I'm not missing out by taking a day off of Instagram, or only checking it once a day instead of every hour. Neither are you! And you may just find that when you take a step back, it's easier to be grateful for what's right in front of you instead of wishing for what's on the other side of the screen.

I'm writing this post as a work in progress, but I want to invite you into this process. I see it all around me, everyone longing for what they don't have, but we can reclaim contentment for ourselves and take the journey with the Lord to be grateful, no matter the circumstance. It starts now, and it starts with us being intentional with the thoughts we allow into our mind and the thoughts we allow to stay.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." - Philippians 4:11-13