FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE RECAP

I cannot believe that I am writing the RECAP post for my FRESHMAN YEAR OF COLLEGE. I genuinely feel like time sped up three times faster when I moved into college, and it feels just like yesterday that I was setting up my dorm room and spent my first night without my parents. It's so bittersweet looking back, and while I'm so excited for the summer and what the next year of college has in store, this year has been so sweet, full of so much growth and stretching, and I don't want the rest of college to go by just this fast. Don't get me wrong, there were definitely very difficult, emotional, and stressful moments, but I've been loving college, what God's been teaching me, and building my community here in Emporia.

Today, as I close the chapter on this year of college, I'm going to talk about a few of the highs, lows, and my favorite memories from this year. :) God has been so faithful, so constantly present, and I'm so grateful - and excited to show you an inside look into what I've been up to!

LOWS

My first semester in Emporia wasn't completely smooth sailing. At first, I struggled immensely with finding a balance between school and life. I felt really overwhelmed trying to be a perfectionist with all my notes and going above and beyond on my assignments. Even more than that, though, I felt very lonely and had a hard time building meaningful friendships. I was meeting so many people, but struggled feeling seen and known in a sea of so many new faces. It felt as if everyone had already clicked within two days of being on campus, and I was left behind - alone (but wait and see how God redeems that struggles!).

Even into my second semester, God was really testing and revealing who I truly trust (and sometimes it's not Him above all else). He challenged me to loosen my grip on control and my "perfect" plan, that was really, really difficult. I spent quite a few nights crying, asking Him to provide breakthrough in certain situations, and fighting a battle between the fear my flesh gravitates so much towards and the faith my spirit wants so badly to walk in. There were times when it was hard to recognize God's presence or voice, and that made the lonely, heavy seasons even harder. God definitely pushed me to depend on Him and ONLY Him, surrendering the rest, and that was incredibly uncomfortable (dare I say, sometimes painful).

HIGHS

I can honestly say that my freshman year of college was a really, really fun one. I was challenged immensely, but I experienced an abundance of joy and made so many memories.

Koa and I have found long distance to be much more fulfilling than we expected, and although we have our hard weeks, we've grown so much closer together and deepened our relationship in ways we didn't anticipate. Instead of feeling constantly disconnected and consumed by missing each other, we feel more connected than before, prioritize intentional ways to spend time together, and are creating a community around us, genuinely enjoying our individual college experiences.

Together, we've adventured and explored, and on the long car rides, dreamed about our future and shared the heavy things on our hearts. We walked through Koa's first season as a collegiate athlete together, me in the stands cheering him on, and him working his tail off to get playing time. We had picnics and Bible studies in the park, and spent countless afternoons scrapbooking. We journeyed to the state fair together, celebrating his 19th birthday, explored our college towns, and discovered the cutest apple orchard in Emporia (with the best apple cider slushie!). We've uncovered many new trails and walking paths and taken mini road trips to Lawrence and Overland Park. And of course, we've eaten our fair share of Panda Express and ice cream. :)

In Emporia, God pushed me to get out of my comfort zone and initiate, being bold in building the community and friendships I've always prayed for. God has answered the prayer for my people that I've been praying for years, especially in this second semester, and I have the best girls that I get to do life with. I share an identical schedule with one of my best friends (whose name is also Elli), and we genuinely do everything together, which is such a blessing!

There's a group of us girls who meet weekly before Christian Challenge to do crafts and share intentional conversations about life and our faith, and that has filled up my cup so incredibly much. I found the BEST mentor, Katie, and Elli and I meet with her weekly as well. She pours so much wisdom, joy, and prayer into us, and she is yet another answered prayer. I've also been working on being more purposeful about inviting girls to meet with one on one, and in that, I've been able to deepen relationships and feel so connected to Christian community. Not to mention that I'm involved in two Bible studies and large group Christian Challenge meetings, and that consistent gathering with believers has been so encouraging in my transition to college.

My job is another huge answered prayer from the Lord, and it is so much fun. I'm the after school teacher at the Christian school in town, as well as a classroom aide, and I love hanging out with the kids. They bring such joy to my life, and it's been a blast getting such great classroom experience, creating biblical activities to do with them, and playing volleyball with them outside. :) And, I've been able to put together a ton of cute teacher outfits, and sometimes, it's the little things that make your day that much better!

Of course, the whole reason I'm in college is to earn my degree, and despite a few classes here and there that aren't my favorite, I've really been enjoying my teaching classes. I'm reminded so often of why I want to teach, and that's to curate a space for engaging learning, investing and cheering my students on, and I get to learn skills daily to practically implement that mission, which is the best.

If you can't tell - the highs extremely outweigh the lows. There were certainly hard nights and weeks, but God's blessings have been so evident in the middle of what feels difficult in the moment. The community and people He's surrounded me with are by far the greatest answered prayer of this season, and I feel so encouraged to see that the years and years of prayers have not been in vain. This year has taken me into deeper reliance on the Lord and allowed me to experience His presence in such intimate ways. And even when He feels far and my faith feels weak, His gentle compassion and voice has never wavered. Praise Jesus! I am overflowing with thankfulness.