My 18th Birthday! | How God Has Moved in This Past Year

I'd be lying if I told you I could believe that I'm actually 18 years old. This season comes with so much change, and unsurprisingly, my birthday has been the last thing on my mind. It snuck up on me this year, but I really want to take a moment to slow down and process it with the Lord.

When I think about the past year of my life, I think I'd describe it with one word: victory. I'm amazed at the triumphs God has led me through, so much of it internal, but also a lot of major external successes too. A year ago, I was recovering from severe anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Now, I feel even more rooted in my faith, spiritually and emotionally healthy, and as ready as I'll ever be to move to college. This may be one of the biggest transformations within myself that I've had within a year, and I don't think I realized that until now. I am so thankful to the Lord for how He has blessed me and provided for me, transforming me from the inside out. I recognize that there is so much more for me to grow and learn, but I also just want to praise Him for all that He's done.

I didn't know where I would take this post whenever I sat down to begin writing it, but I think I want to recap some of the ways I've seen God work and move in the past year. I truly want to acknowledge how He's changed me and give Him all the glory for how far He's brought me, and I want to encourage you if you're in a dark place, waiting to see breakthrough.

This past year, God empowered me and allowed me to run my senior year of cross country - which is such a huge accomplishment if you've followed my journey of injuries and setbacks. He gave me the opportunity to run one last season, and within it, I rediscovered my love for the sport. I was truly so joyful on my runs because there had been countless times when I wasn't able to participate. But perhaps even greater, in this season I found a renewed intimacy and healing with the Lord. I did get to run, but I was still on an alternate training schedule, meaning that God and I had frequent dates on the stationary bike. While it was hard missing out on the team, I began to look forward to look toward to that time to pray and listen to my favorite podcasts.

God opened the door for me to participate in a program called AmeriCorps, which sent me to an elementary school for half the day, getting to help out teachers and work with students one on one or in small groups. This was such a blessing and I loved every minute of it! I got to work with some amazing people, and also gain a lot of experience in the classroom. During this year, I also decided to go to Emporia, and since then, God has opened the right doors and blessed me absolutely tremendously.

2 days after the housing portal for Emporia opened, my now-roommate reached out to me, and we connected instantly. We're incredibly similar and share a love for the Lord, and I am so grateful that God brought us together. Only a few days after we started talking, we decided we'd room together, and the rest is history! The whole way we met could only have happened through the Lord, especially since we had both tried to reach out to other girls, and no other doors really opened.

Probably the biggest blessing of the year and evidence of the Lord was how He provided to have my entire college paid for through financial aid and scholarships. I've talked about it on the blog before, but finances were a very big worry of mine, and I began doubting if the Lord would come through. Silly me, of course He would! I will never forget that phone call and the pure excitement, relief, and gratitude that followed. God provided in such a huge way, and I hope I never lose my amazement over that!

I also really want to acknowledge the way God has worked in me internally. I'm far from perfect, but I feel whole again, where there once was a gaping darkness inside of me. I'm learning to be secure and confidence in who I am, instead of who I think I should be to fit in to the world. God has freed me from so much worry and anxiety, and I can truly say that although I'm still a little nervous about going to college, I am excited and ready for this new adventure. I'm learning to rely on the Lord in all things, seeking Him in every moment, instead of my flesh or worldly wisdom - or distracting myself. He's teaching me what my schedule should look like and what I should prioritize. He's blessing me with friends that uplift my spirit. I feel challenged to bring the Lord my weaknesses instead of trying to bear that weight alone. He's helped mature Koa and I to a place where I'm so excited about how our relationship reflects Jesus, and how we are truly rooted in Him.

God is so good, friends, and I want to celebrate all that He's done in this past year. I am so grateful, and I'm so thankful that He's given me this year of victories to fuel my faith as I move away and go into this next season. It hasn't been a perfect year, but it has been full of evidence of how the Lord is moving, and that's such a reason to worship.

ALSO! I want to plug something really exciting that I’ve been working on and the reason why this post is coming out a day late. Run the Race is now on ETSY, where you can find digital and printable Bible study tools and Christian resources. It would mean the world to me if you would check out the shop and make a purchase if any of the products would mean the world to me! You can find the shop here: https://runtheracestore.etsy.com