Song of Songs Chapter 4: How Purity and Sexuality is a Gift

Chapter 4 is almost completely spoken by Solomon after their first time being intimate in marriage, and while it's a more sexual chapter, it's also so sweet and gentle the way that he describes her and his love for her. He begins the chapter by exclaiming, "How beautiful you are my darling! Oh, how beautiful!" It's evident that Solomon truly admires and cherishes the maiden, both for her physical beauty and her heart (which we will read about later in the chapter!).

Following that, he describes seven physical features that he loves about her. Not only is that incredibly specific and intentional, the number seven symbolizes perfection, alluding to how he views her as perfect and whole. That detail is so slight but it again adds to the depth of their love for each other! Each of these qualities are spoken with such tenderness and empowerment as he specifically describes what makes her beautiful. He's so intentional with his words, and to experience that in the context of a loving, romantic relationship is quite honestly a game changer. I'll go ahead and outline all of the qualities, but I'll only explain specifically a few that I think are not quite easy to understand at first glance.

1. Eyes like doves

2. Hair like a flock of goats (flowing and seemingly bouncing with life)

3. Teeth like a flock of sheep (white, each with its pair; clean and complete)

4. Lips like scarlet ribbon

5. Temples like the halves of pomegranates (the translated word "temple" here also includes the cheeks; her temples and cheeks were flushed and full of color from beauty and excitement.)

6. Neck like the tower of David (I probably would have been slightly offended by this comment, but in context, it's a symbol of character. Solomon sees his bride as a woman of virtue and strength.)

7. Breasts like two fawns (in context, this means that he viewed her body as both innocent and attractive.)

While some of these aren't things that we would typically think to compliment nowadays, Solomon noticed the details, and I think to love our partner well, we should also notice and celebrate the details about them. Koa notices my tendencies when I'm anxious or upset, and I can read his emotions well, too. Knowing someone like that requires vulnerability, but it also opens up a new door to intimacy - especially in the context of marriage and sex.

In verse 6, Solomon says, "Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense." The first part of that verse ("until the day breaks and the shadows flee") mean that they've waited until the proper time for an appropriate consumation of their love. They waited to love each other in physical intimate ways. In the second half of the verse, the mountain of myrrh and hill of incense may symbolize luxury and sensuality of the rich scents. Their intimacy was rich, and I believe that was in large part because they waited until the right time and followed God's design.

And then, in verse 8, Solomon invites his bride to come with him from Lebanon and descend from the lions' dens and mountain peaks of leopards. This is really significant because he's inviting her to leave her family and her fears to come join and share in his life. In the very beginning of the creation of the world, God made it clear that a man and woman will leave their family and become one, but Song of Songs adds another element to that. As we walk in the relationship that God is calling us to, we also are called to let go of our fears surrounding love and vulnerability. I am convinced that in a safe, biblical relationship, you will encounter fears, but your partner should help you feel secure enough to process through those feelings and then surrender them to the Father. That is a beautiful, beautiful gift, and one that we get to embrace when we let God lead our relationship.

Solomon continues to celebrate his bride, declaring how she has stolen his heart and how her love is more delightful than wine. He notices how sweet her lips taste and reminisces of the scent on her clothes. And then my favorite part of this chapter - he celebrates her purity and her sexuality.

Verse 12 says that "You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride; you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain." Solomon recognizes that she has been careful to guard her body and heart until this point in marriage where they can love each other freely. He appreciates and loves that she has waited so long to be intimate with someone, and it reminds me how when we are with the right person, they too will celebrate that quality in us, and continue to push us to walk in purity. And then, with poetic imagery of plants and spices (which I admittedly don't fully understand....but my commentary helped), he describes the value and beauty in her sexuality. Song of Songs really emphasizes that sex and sexual feelings are not bad, but instead a priceless gift that gets to be unwrapped in marriage. Solomon cherishes all of those parts of her and expresses that love to her. Building on this message, verse 15 says that "you are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon." Solomon recognizes that her sexuality is not small and insignificant, but that aspect of her is full of abundance and richness. It's refreshing and meant to be enjoyed in a private, sacred, and secure relationship. Now that is not talked about in church!

To close out the chapter, the maiden finally speaks, and she invites him to share in this intimate, vulnerable experience. She calls her body "his garden," indicating that now they are one and they belong to each other. Her virginity and purity is a gift that she gets to give to her husband, and that is remarkably special.

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This may have been my favorite chapter yet. It's just SO GOOD! I absolutely love how in God's perfect design for marriage, there is a special purpose for loving and cherishing each other's body and sexuality. In our Christian bubble, we talk so much about avoiding sex but miss the whole point of how it's intended to be honored and celebrated in a safe, biblical marriage, and Song of Songs really brings that message to light. A godly marriage involves adoration and vulnerability, and that is such a gift. I have truly learned so much throughout this study (which I've repeated every week, lol!) and I can't wait to learn more next week as we dive into chapter 5!