Song of Songs Chapter 2: Purity, Intentionality, and Encouragement in a Christian Relationship

Happy Tuesday and welcome back to the blog! Last week we began a new series over Song of Songs (or in your Bible, it may be Songs of Solomon - same thing!) and talking about how God designed romantic relationships and intimacy. In the Christian bubble it's easy to talk about not having sex before marriage, but sometimes that makes sex look like it's a bad thing, which the Bible clearly says it's not! There's so much goodness in Song of Songs that I'm so excited to dive into with you, and I hope it opens your eyes to what a biblical relationship looks like as much as it opened mine.

Starting off in verses 1-2, we see how Solomon pursues the maiden (his lover) and gives her the gift of being preferred. She says in verse 1, "I am a rose of Sharon, a lily of the valleys," comparing herself to a flower, but an ordinary one, implying that she doesn't feel as remarkable or beautiful as other women. But Solomon quickly reassured her, saying, "Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the young women." Solomon admired her beauty and saw her as set apart from other girls, even when he probably could choose any woman he wanted. He chose her and desired her, and that's such a special gift. We shouldn't settle for someone who isn't pursuing us or clearly communicating how they see us.

In the next few verses, we see her comparing her love to an apple tree, where she says at the end of verse 3, "I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet to my taste." Solomon brings security and peace to her, and she finds rest and refreshment in his presence. His love is sweet to her. Over and over again in this book we see that God designed relationships to be a place of refuge, not of storms or chaos. Our relationships, specifically romantic ones, but also platonic ones, are intented to encourage us and fill up our cup, a safe place of mutual love and affection. There's so much joy and peace in that - not confusion or exhaustion.

Following that, the maiden continues to daydream about the romance between them, but in verse 7, I really want to highlight such an important point in this book. She says, "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires," which can be thrown around a lot in the Christian circle, but when you dive into the heart behind it, it's so meaningful. There are two lessons that you can learn from this verse, both of which are so applicable to our relationships.

1. The first way you can interpret this verse is to not go too fast in your relationship. The Enduring Word Commentary says it like this: "Let our love progress and grow until it is matured and fruitful." As you navigate your relationship, specifically romantically, be careful not to rush into love. It's wise to go slowly, to maturely and intentionally get to know each other. The sweetest love takes time to grow, and in a world that is always hurrying, that isn't the norm, but we can see the fruit from the Spirit when we choose to go that path.

2. The other way you can interpret this verse is to not begin until you can go all the way. Don't start lighting a fire that you don't want to burn. As Christians, we need to be walking in purity, and that means we shouldn't be asking how close to the line we can get, but instead asking how we can stay safely away from the line. As Song of Songs emphasizes, sex is a beautiful thing, but it's meant to be explored within the covenant of marriage. We need to be cautious not to arouse sexual feelings when we can't and shouldn't go all the way to having sex.

In the next section of verses, up until verse 13, the maiden talks about how spring is here, winter is past, and flowers are appearing. This imagery of spring is an allusion to the freshness of new love, how love blooms and grows, bearing fruit and bringing joy. She's quoting Solomon, who repeatedly says, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me," which is a sweet way to convey that he desires to be with her and enjoy the new season together. He reminds her of how precious he considers her, and isn't that what we all desire in a relationship?

Then, Solomon continues to seek and pursue his lover. He says in verse 14, "My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet and your face is lovely." Over and over again, he reminds her how beautiful she is and calls her out of hiding. In a godly, biblical relationship, it's safe to come out of hiding and be seen vulnerably with your partner because they see you the way God intentionally designed you. And, he pursued her. She didn't have to chase after Solomon - he called after her, and there was so much beauty in that.

One of my favorite parts of this chapter is verse 15, which is so confusing at first, but once I read the commentary on it, I absolutely loved it. It says, "Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom." When I initially read this verse, I genuinely asked what foxes had to do anything with relationships, but the analogy was so good. The commentary explained that this verse alluded to how they will work together to remove anything that could destroy their relationship (aka the vineyard in this verse). A vineyard is valuable, and so is our relationship, and both need to be protected. Just as a fox can destroy a vineyard, dishonesty, impurity, comparison, poor communication, and so much more can destroy a relationship. We are stewards of our relationship and it is our responsibility to protect it using the armor of God and Scripture as our guide. Love and romance is a special part of God's design, but we are called to guard it and take it seriously. If we don't, the things of this world and attacks from the enemy may just eat away at the foundation.

The maiden emphasized their bond in verse 16 when she said, "My beloved is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies." They have chosen and committed to each other, preferring the other over all the other options. Our relationships are not meant to be a guessing game or a source of confusion; God desires for us to have certainty and security in the relationships He has for us. That means that when we have prayed and are following His lead on which relationship to invest in romantically, we are called to be clear with our intentions and our feelings.

Finishing out the chapter, the maiden instructs Solomon to be like a gazelle or a young stag on the rugged hills. I was also confused by this verse when I first read it, but the commentary made it so much clearer. She was encouraging him to approach the difficulties (rugged hills) with strength, energy, and passion - just like a gazelle or young stag. She empowered him when times were tough, and that is also our role in a relationship. I truly believe that both the man and the woman are meant to encourage and uplift each other, but as women, we have such a special priviledge to serve and support our boyfriend/husband by speaking life over him and reminding him who God created him to be. Our words have such power in our relationship, and we must steward them well. They will walk through hard seasons, but it's up to us to decide whether we will be the voice of hope and encouragement or the voice of discouragement and defeat.

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This chapter has been so good, guys, and I am so thankful for all that the Lord has been revealing to me! There is so much joy in learning about how God designed relationships, and I'm so grateful that He has given us this tool to learn from. I pray that you've been learning along the way as well! Make sure to come back next week to dive into chapter 3!