The Truth I Would Tell My Old Anxious Self

At the time I'm writing this, I just finished my second day reading and praying through Romans 8:1-17, because it is so good. There is so much truth and healing that I'm finding in this passage of Scripture, and it's genuinely so refreshing to my heart. Reading it and looking back on the former season of my life that was filled with so much anxiety and darkness, I really want to hug that version of myself and remind her of this truth, because it was just as true then as it is now.

My heart for this post is that it would encourage each of you with the truth. I believe that each person can take something away from this Scripture, but I especially want to speak to those of you who are struggling with mental health or feeling weak in their faith, far from God. I have been there and walked through the darkest valleys, but God shed so much light on me through this section of Scripture, but I didn't get to fully experience it until after that season was over. I want to speak it over you now, so that the seeds of hope may be planted, and that when God leads you to your healing, you can look back and have an even richer understanding of what He meant.

At the very beginning of chapter 8, Paul hits us with some encouraging truth: There is NOW no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. I think a lot of times the "no" gets highlighted, but I want to zero in on that "now" part. Right now, your Heavenly Father looks at you with love, as if the "righteous requirement of the law" (vs 4) is fulfilled in you. He sees Jesus' blood over you, washing you clean with perfection and grace. He cherishes you and chooses to clear every debt in your name.

Right now. This very moment.

Not when you get your act together. Not when you quit that sin. Not when you start working or going back to church or reading your Bible more. Not when your mind is healthier or safer or you "look" like a better Christian.

God sees you as that now.

I think I often believe the lie that God forgives me, He sees me as clean, but only once I complete blank. I put conditions on God's love that the cross completely cleared away. That's not how I was meant to live, friends, and it's not how you were meant to live.

In the next paragraph, verses 5-8, it talks about the differences between a mind governed by the flesh and a mind governed by the Holy Spirit. Paul writes that "those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires...the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace." As a girl who used to describe her mind as a very unsafe place, this Scripture spoke so gently to me. God is offering me a safe, peaceful, life giving mind.

Our application for this is that our lives go in the direction of our thoughts. When our mind and thoughts are in accordance with the flesh, with wordly beliefs and desires, our lives begin to go down a dark, deadly path. That is not how we find life, peace, or refreshment - let alone a secure eternity. But when our mind and thoughts are in accordance with the Spirit, meditating on Scripture, praying, leaning into the Lord and viewing the world through His eyes, that is where we find the life, peace, refreshment, and a secure eternity.

I fully recognize that sometimes our minds don't feel like ours, but God is challenging us here to lean into the Holy Spirit. It's not always pretty, but it's leaning in and being honest with God, saying, "I don't know how, Lord, to think thoughts according to Your Spirit, but I want to and I desire the life You promise. Please help me." Our Father is so kind and He will help you.

In verse 14, Paul says a short and simple, yet so profound, statement: "For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God."

Note that he didn't say those who read their Bible every day is a child of God. He didn't say that those with perfect attendence are children of God. Not the most patient, not the ones who never curse, not the ones who are always sharing Bible verses. Paul didn't write, and God didn't intend for us to believe, that being children of God is based on perfection or a certain standard of behavior.

No, not perfection, but the direction of our heart and life.

Being led by God means that we are working on all of those things, that we're working on obedience and trusting and living a life that honors Him. But it also means that we are walking on a journey that isn't always sunshine and rainbows. We don't always walk straight, if you know what I mean. We don't have to pass a holiness test to make it into the club, no, we just have to set our hearts and direction on Jesus, and He welcomes us into the family.

We will certainly fall, but who or what is directing your life? What has the power and influence? What motivates and guides you? If it's Jesus, then you're safe and secure. You're a daughter or son of the King, and He calls you His. You don't have to worry about making it in the club because He's already decided that you belong to Him.

If it's not Jesus, He's still inviting you to choose Him, too. He wants to welcome you into the family, and He is more than happy to help you switch directions if you allow Him to help.

And then, my most favorite part.

"The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.”  The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.  Now if we are children, then we are heirs— heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory." - Romans 8:15-17

God does not desire for you to live in fear anymore. Instead, He invites you to walk with the confidence of a beloved child.

I know I can be a slow learner, but sometimes I just need God to spell it out for me.

For too long, I believed that my anxiety was from God, that it was punishment and a sign that He was mad at me. I believed that I deserved the darkness that plagued my mind.

No, that is not the truth. My Father does not want me to life in fear again, so He went to great lengths to adopt me, choose me, and call me His child. I am safe in my Father's arms, and He reassures my fears with the truth of His love and His everlasting promises.

Thank You, Jesus!

I cannot even express the fire that lights up in my soul, and I hope you let that truth sit with you for more than a moment. It probably should be a basic truth, but I needed to hear it and be reminded of it and I am confident that the girl I used to be need to hear it too. God is so kind to me and to us, to want an intimate relationship with us so much that He adopted us. He declared that I am co-heirs with Christ, meaning that I am just as much His daughter as Christ is His Son, and I get to enjoy all the spiritual blessings and gifts of being His child as Jesus does. That is amazing!

God is so good. His Word is life.

This was so encouraging to me friends, and I may just have to keep reading this section of Scripture for a few more days. I am constantly amazed by the love, kindness, and gentleness of our Heavenly Father. He is so gracious to us, and I am so thankful. I dream of telling my old, anxious self this truth, but I know that it wouldn't taste as sweet now if I hadn't also tasted darkness. I'm grateful that God allows the painful trials of life to deepen and richen my relationship with Him, and I think I'm really in awe of that tonight.

I'd love to know what stuck out to you in this post or part of Scripture! What has God been teaching or revealing to you? Let me know in the comments below!