What Koa Would Have Told Himself Before Going Long Distance

I am so excited to share with you today's post, where Koa talks about some of the things he would have told himself before going long distance! This transition has been such a learning experience for both of us, but I'm extremely proud to say that it has brought us closer together and more rooted in the Lord. Even if you aren't in a long distance relationship right now, I believe that the things God has taught us are applicable in any relationship, and it's kind of fun to hear Koa's perspective, too!

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One of my biggest worries coming into college was how our relationship would change. During most of junior year and all of senior year, we were incredibly close — spending nearly every day at school side by side. I was so thankful to have her by my side and to finish high school as “us.” Over the summer, we stayed just as connected, making the most of every moment we had before heading off to college. The sudden shift from being together almost every day to navigating a long-distance relationship was harder than I expected. I knew the move was coming, but I wasn’t prepared for how much I’d miss her. Looking back, there are a few things I wish I had done to better prepare for that transition. Below are a few key examples of what I’d work on or tell myself!

1. How clear communication makes it easier

Communication is important in a relationship, and to be able to clearly express our busyness helps avoid confusion and worry! Going into the first few weeks of our freshman year at college was very hectic. Ellie and I had extracurricular activities to attend and classes throughout the day. We have always been clear at communicating, but being away at college made it an opportunity to grow in keeping each other up to date! Ellie prioritized discussing all of her plans and in return I knew where she was and most of all that she was safe. We made it important to communicate clearly about our week and I appreciated that. Although the distance of our colleges were far, she made us feel closer. There was never room for doubt because she told me ahead of time all of her activities! She is a wonderful communicator and I always admire that! I would’ve told myself before moving long distance that clear communication helps prevent confusion and remove any feeling of disconnect because without it, it's easier to overthink instead of trusting in our love.

2. Give each other time to be college students! 

One thing going into college that was important for us was to find a community of friends to fellowship with. We wanted to find people with similar beliefs! I prayed for her for those friends, but I didn’t account for how much time it would take outside of us. Being a college student is very busy, and on top of that, it was her first week on campus. She had to adjust and navigate where her classes were and meet new people. All these events took time and adjustment, and that was something I wasn’t prepared for. As the first weeks went by, I began to grasp how busy college was. It wasn’t that she wanted space from us, but the busyness of our week is what created that space, and that’s okay. It was hard adjusting at first, but Ellie's reassurance helped tremendously! We are now able to find gaps throughout our schedules to FaceTime and reconnect about our day! Something I’ve learned is to be more patient, and allow Ellie to be a college student! 

3. Praying

Something that has been on the forefront of us going into college is to stay connected with God and keep Him at our foundation. We know that only on His foundation of love, we can love like Him towards each other. One way we do that is to pray and ask one another what we can bring to Him together. Sometimes it’s the overbearingness of homework and college, and others is the heaviness of being alone. Ellie and I may initially feel the weight, but we never let each other carry it alone. We’ve both hit ruts in our faith and sometimes deep valleys, but being able to lean into God together makes it helpful! Our Heavenly Father carries the weight entirely, but it means so much to me that we can give it to Him together. God has given us an opportunity to grow closer to Him together through college, and I am thankful for that blessing!

I am thankful for how the Lord moved us individually and as a couple! Working on our love for each other has only grown the depth of it, and finding crevices to fill with love has only strengthened it! Our love has flourished everyday, and it keeps getting better! I love her and I’m so content with the God we serve together!