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To the Girl Who Feels Lonely and Excluded

To the girl who feels lonely and excluded:

Sometimes you can have so many people around you, but still feel completely alone. Sometimes you truly don't have anyone by your side, and that's isolating too. Either way: the struggle is real. I've been there. So I want you to know that even though you feel lonely, you are not alone.

The struggle with loneliness is different for everyone, but I want to encourage you wherever you are in this place. I want to remind you of what God has said about loneliness and that you truly aren't alone. I want to remind you that you don't have to be stuck here, lonely and discouraged.

When I was knee deep in my battle with loneliness and feeling excluded, one verse in particular soothed my soul.

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." - Luke 5:16

What? Jesus intentionally became lonely? To pray?

Yes! Yes, He did. Jesus knew that in the lonely places, we are forced to be still and alone with God. He knew that in the lonely places, we are often stuck with our own thoughts, and we can (and should!) use that time to refocus on our Heavenly Father.

Maybe, just maybe, God wants to use your loneliness to bring you closer to Him. Maybe your whole perspective will be changed during this time of drawing near to the Lord. Maybe this is an opportunity to dive deeper into your faith and come out stronger. When I found myself sitting alone and struggling with feeling isolated and lonely, these words from Luke would come to mind and I would find peace in the loneliness. I found Jesus waiting for me in what I thought was complete isolation, but really, it was an invitation to draw near to my Savior.

In those lonely places, I found Jesus and knew Him better than I ever had before.

In those lonely places, Jesus offered encouragement and hope because he WAS waiting for me and is always there for us in that struggle. When we open our hearts, we are able to see that Jesus never leaves us and comforts us when we feel the most alone. Just look at these truths found directly in Scripture!

  • Nothing can separate us from Jesus - Romans 8:31-38

  • Jesus is with us always - Matthew 28:20

  • God never leaves - Deuteronomy 31:6

  • God draws near to us when we draw near to Him - James 4:8

But in Scripture, I also find God calling us to live in community. We were never meant to walk through this life alone. So while we will go through periods of feeling lonely, I believe that God wants us to work towards finding those people we can encourage and challenge, and the people who can encourage and challenge us.

Hebrews 10:24-25 says: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." We NEED the community of meeting to encourage and challenge each other! The Bible even says that where two or three gather in His name, He will be there. (Matthew 18:20)

In the lonely places, don't stay there. Don't wallow in your sadness and feel bad for yourself. Reach out to a friend or make a new one, and ask God to give you the community He desires you to have. It probably won't be instant, and it might get uncomfortable, but seek out godly people to surround yourself with.

Sweet friend, I know it can be difficult. But look around you. Is there someone struggling with loneliness right now, just like you are? Is there someone willing to open their arms to give you a hug? Is there someone to encourage and lift you up in this lonely place, to remind you that you aren't alone?

I know it can be daunting. But just take the first step. Invite someone to hang out. Send a short text asking them how they are doing. Compliment someone's outfit. Sit somewhere new at church, and don't be afraid to talk to the people around you.

And maybe, just maybe, God wants to use this place of loneliness for you to meet someone else in their loneliness. Maybe God has a beautiful plan of using your struggle to encourage someone in the exact same struggle you are in. Exodus 23:9 reminds the Israelites to be kind to the foreigners because they know how that feels. Maybe this can also be a reminder to us to look out and care for the lonely, because we've been in their shoes before.

In the lonely places, it's easy to feel consumed by how isolated you feel. But no matter what, Jesus has never left your side, and He is always waiting for you to accept His comfort and guidance. And even in those lonely places, continue to seek out friendship and community because God has declared just how important that is.


If you are struggling with loneliness right now, please let me know in the comments below so I can pray for you specifically. Or, if you've been through a season of loneliness and would like to share something that encouraged you during that difficult time, comment down below so that we can build each other up!



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