What My Curls Reminded Me About Life

A few weeks before prom, I got my very first curly haircut! My hair was significantly shorter than what I was used to, but it was also significantly softer and healthier before. With the new haircut, my stylist recommended that I use some different products to better suit my curl type. While the ones she specifically recommended were way out of my budget for now, I purchased some new products to revamp my routine.

My first wash day with my routine was a bit defeating. It didn’t look BAD, but it didn’t look as good as what she did. (Not surprising - I didn’t have the expensive product or experience like she did.)

I found myself being extremely critical of my curls, hyperfixating on the frizz and flaws. I scoured Pinterest and the internet for how to fix my hair. People reassured me it was fine, but my eyes were blind to that.

The next morning, my critical attitude remained. I didn’t sleep great the night before, worrying about how my hair would turn out for prom. So, as silly as it felt, I prayed about it. I talked to God about my hair and my insecurities with it. I asked Him to help me see myself the way He sees me, to give me a renewed confidence, and yes, I prayed that my hair would look good for prom.

As I was praying about this, I began hyping myself up. I don’t think I realized it in the moment, but I was speaking the truth over myself - the reality about my curls and what God says.

“My curls are beautiful, and they are a gift from God - they’re not meant to be defeating or defining.”

“My curls don’t have to look like anyone else’s to be beautiful.”

“My curls need time to get used to the new routine, and so do I. When I compare my curls to someone else’s, I’m not remembering that their hair didn’t look like that after one new routine.”

This is way deeper than just curls.

God really opened my eyes to the fact that I make the same judgments on my life as I do my curls. I believe the lie that my life has to look like someone else’s to be good and exciting. I compare myself way more than I realize, judging where I’m at in my journey to someone in a completely different place.

I do not have to look like someone else to be beautiful. My life doesn’t have to look like someone else’s to be fulfilling and according to God’s will. My body and my life is a gift from God, not a curse.

I need to give myself the same grace God gives me. I am on my own journey with Jesus, and no one else can measure my progress. I need time to learn, adjust, grow, and it doesn’t happen overnight.

So often, our comparison leads us to feeling inadequate and insecure, when we’re not even giving ourselves an even playing field. We’re comparing ourselves to someone with more experience, in a different season, or with different resources. We don’t take into consideration the time and process it took for other people to get where they are, whether with their hair, job, relationship, or mental health. We lack so much grace for ourselves, expecting to be “the best me” in no time at all, before we’ve even been able to explore who we are and what God has for us.

It doesn’t work like that. I wish it did, but it doesn’t.

God loves you. He loves you right now, right where you are. I wholeheartedly believe that Jesus wants you to grow, improve, but not at the cost of your contentment in this season, your joy in this moment. God does not have the expectation that you will reach perfection on this side of heaven, and He doesn’t want you to have that expectation of yourself, either. I think He would rather walk in a faithful, love relationship with you, than have to watch you struggle and strive alone. He has such a good plan for your life, and that doesn’t always look like someone else’s, but it doesn’t mean that it’s any less good. We need to begin placing our value and worth in what God says, relying on His timing and truth, instead of looking to the world or other people. They will always fall short, leave us feeling like failures, when God declares that we are enough and worthy through the blood His Son shed.