Song of Songs Chapter 8: Celebration of Purity and Holy Love

Welcome to the FINAL week of our Song of Songs study! This is the longest study I've ever done on the blog (eight weeks!) but it's also been one of my favorites. Even though I'm not married, this book has taught me so much about what biblical relationships and sex looks like, and I wholeheartedly believe that it's a tool God has given us to help us navigate relationships and prepare for marriage, whether we're in that season yet or not. If you haven't stayed up to date with the posts leading up to this one, I'd highly recommend that you go back and read those, too, because there's so much for us to learn from!

With all that being said, let's jump right into chapter 8!

Solomon's bride kicks off the chapter with an interesting comment, saying this in the first two verses:

"If only you were to me like a brother, who was nursed at my mother's breasts! Then, if I found you outside, I would kiss you, and no one would despise me. I would lead you and bring you to my mother's house - she who has taught me. I would give you spiced wine to drink, the nectar of my pomegranates."

While it took me aback when I read this at first, my commentary really helped clear up what this meant - and no, it's not what it appears to mean. The maiden is expressing that if Solomon was her brother, she could be more openly affectionate with him and no one would question it. She wanted to have her family's approval of the relationship, and that's why she wanted to be able to take him to her mother's house. The spiced wine could have likely been the best gift she had to offer, or sharing the wedding gift to symbolize unity. She creates an imagery of intimacy, again reminding us of the desire that God designed to take place between husband and wife.

But in verse four, the maiden reminds us again not to arouse or awaken love until it so desires. While we will desire to be affectionate and intimate with our partner, she encourages us to wait patiently until the time is right and we can fully explore it. This is a theme that is emphasized throughout the book: sex is so beautiful that it's meant to be a gift, unwrapped in the right context.

After that, the friends notice that as they're walking, the maiden is leaning closely on Solomon. As husband and wife, they're close and connected.

The maiden begins describing how they are grown and happily married, but still connected to their family. In verse six, she said, "Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame." She wanted to celebrate and recognize the permanance of their commitment. Their love is strong and secure, and the covenant of marriage is like a seal over their relationship.

I think it's really interesting how the maiden compares love to a blazing fire and a mighty flame. Fire can be extremely destructive, burning up memories and valuables, leaving only ashes behind. But it can also bring good: warmth, light, security, comfort. Love awakened at the wrong time is dangerous and brings unnecessary hurt and pain, but love in the context God designed it is a bright, shining light, warm and captivating. God has given us the gift of love, but how we use it matters, and it has major impacts. The maiden continues by saying that even many waters and rivers can't sweep love away. Wealth can't buy love, either. It's priceless and steady, when God is in the middle of it. (1 Corinthians 13 even says that love never fails.)

In verses eight and nine, we flash back to when they are preparing for the wedding. It's likely that the maiden's brothers are speaking here, asking how to prepare their little sister for marriage, based on her own choices and character. If she was firm as a wall, secure and not letting anyone in, then they would build her up and encourage her. If she was more like a door, unwisely allowing others into her life and relationships, then they would refine her and help her create boundaries.

I'm truly just reminded of how important it is that we have people holding us accountable in our relationships. When we're navigating love and attraction, we don't always see things as clearly as we should, and so we need to have family and friends who can recognize our strengths and weaknesses, and refine us accordingly. The strongest relationships aren't the ones who are isolated, but who (with wisdom) allow others to speak into them.

The maiden responds by saying how she is like a wall, and her breasts are like towers. She's strongly defended and secure, protecting her purity (which we talked about in chapter 4!). Because of her intentionality in that, security and peace flow from the well being of their relationship. They both can experience contentment and joy because they have confidence that each of them have eyes only for the other. She describes Solomon's vineyards and how valuable they are, but how costly it is to reap the harvest. Then, in verse 12, she says, "But my own vineyard is mine to give; the thousand shekels are for you, Solomon, and two hundred are for those who tend its fruit." The maiden recognized her own value and the value of her sexuality, and she decided to freely give herself to him. It's a treasure to have something so priceless and then be able to share that with the person you've committed forever to - and that's exactly how God designed it!

Solomon responds by expressing how he desires companionship with her, and that their relationship are like gardens, symbolizing places of delight, tended to and nurtured. Just like a garden, we too have to nurture our love and romantic relationships. We have to intentionally plant seeds of joy and selflessness to reap the harvest of closeness and delight in a long term commitment. There should always be an investment in the people we love, and while it often requires sacrifice to tend to the soil and cut out any weeds, fruit always comes from it, with the help of the Lord. And again, he comments how they are supported by their friends. Fruit isn't easily developed without the help and care of others who water the seeds.

Closing out the chapter, Solomon's bride has not lost passion or excitement for her husband. She invites him away to the "spice-laden mountains," a place of beauty, value, wealth, and sweetness. The maiden describes how beautiful and precious their relationships is to her, and how she still desires to be close and growing with her love. In the same way, God desires that our relationships would remain fresh, full of exploration and joy, aspiring to continually grow in intimacy and depth. We have to be intentional about choosing and desiring our partner, through the good days, the bad days, and every day in between.

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I CANNOT believe that we've finally finished this journey through Song of Songs! I've never done a study this long on this type of topic, but I've learned so much, and it's my prayer that you have as well. Sexuality, relationships, and love is truly a gift from God, and I'm so thankful that He's given us this book of life to learn from and understand how to steward it well. Song of Songs has reminded me that we get the priviledge of celebrating love and purity in a world who often encourages independence and promiscuitity. God's design is always for our best interest, and I'm so grateful that I serve a God who is so intentional and mindful in His creation - and that He gives such good gifts!

If you've followed along for this entire series or even just part of it, from the bottom of my heart - thank you. I've loved meeting you each week on the blog to explore what it is the Lord wants to teach us, and it's such a blessing that you've chosen to join me. I pray that God has blessed, encouraged, and convicted you through His word, and that God would use my words to help clarify where sometimes Scripture can feel confusing.

Even though this series is over, I still have so much to share still here at Run the Race! Join me back next Tuesday to continue learning from the Lord with me! :)